| The Beggar's cloak |
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Oneof the most well-documented miracles in the ministry of Jesus concerns a blindman named Bartimaeus, who sat by the roadside begging. One day he hearda commotion and someone must have told him that Jesus was passing by with acrowd of people following him. Nowpresumably Bartimaeus had heard the stories of sick people being healed, oflame men walking, the dumb speaking and yes, even the blind receiving theirsight. It was too good an opportunity to miss; this had to be his time, his dayfor a miracle. So he began to cry out,‘Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!’ There were those who tried to quietenhim but this was no time for decorum. Hewas desperate and cried out all the more, ‘Jesus, son of David, have mercy onme!’ Jesus, so the story goes, stopped and commanded the man to be called to him.Straightaway Bartimaeus threw his garment aside, got up and came to Jesus. ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ Jesusenquired (as if he didn’t know!) ‘Master’, he said, ‘I want to receive mysight.’ Jesus then said, ‘Go your way, your faith has made you whole.’ Immediately Bartimaeus began to see andfollowed him on the road. Wonderful! Thereis a small detail in this story which can be easily overlooked, but it isactually a very important element. Did you notice how Bartimaeus, when Jesuscalled him, left his cloak behind? What did this signify for him and, moreimportantly, what does it signify for us? First of all the cloak represented his identity. According to thecustom of the day the cloak was like a license to beg and Bartimaeus would havetaken it with him everywhere he went. It was his ticket for survival. Byleaving it behind, when Jesus called him, he was demonstrating that he hadfaith in Jesus’ ability to change his life so that he wouldn’t need it anymore. He didn’t wait until he was healedbefore discarding it, but threw it off as an act of faith. He envisioned awhole new identity in Christ and had no thought whatsoever of returning to hisold way of life once Jesus had met with him.
A major step, in finding release from this prison of our past is to forgive, first of all to forgive those who have hurt us and secondly to forgive ourselves. Sometimes, if we are living out of an old identity, sabotaging our weight loss may be a way of punishing ourselves for our past transgressions, so we need to learn to forgive ourselves also and leave the past (our beggar’s cloak) behind us. This whole question of forgiveness is covered in greater detail in How to Stop Dieting and Start Living and I refer readers to the chapter entitled ‘Facing the Past’ for further help. But even with forgiveness, the victim identity can still be a difficult cloak to leave behind, if only because it has been a part of us for so long. At least it is something that we know and as such it provides a sense of security in a hostile and dangerous world. When being a victim (or being fat) becomes our identity, giving us a sense of significance, we tend to talk about our hurts and problems over and over again. This need for attention and everything to do with our old life needs to be taken to the cross and left there. Are you willing for this? The cloak not only represents our identity, it speaks of our protection. For some obese people, their fat is the visible, tangible evidence of an invisible cloak they have wrapped round themselves to protect them from further hurt and abuse. The garment which Bartimaeus wrapped tightly around himself was not only a shelter from the wind, rain and cold; it was a comfort from all the hurts and abuse of his past, his being ‘different’, the taunts and exclusion from mainline society. Where there is a history of sexual abuse, especially, being physically fat can afford a very real sense of protection, the rationale being that if we make ourselves sexually unattractive we will be safer from any unwelcome attention. In Bartimaeous’ day, being blind was a stigma which diminished one’s worth in society’s eyes so the cloak gave him a place where he could hide away in his shame. What shame have you been carrying, I wonder? Maybe it is to do with your origins or family background; maybe it is the shame of what others have done to you, or maybe it is the shame of being fat and not being able to control how you eat. Whatever the underlying issue, letting go of the beggar’s cloak and becoming vulnerable is crucial to receiving your healing. This can feel risky as we fear that it will leave us naked and feeling even more ashamed. But this is the devil’s lie. Love covers; it never exposes us to ridicule and further abuse. When we cast off our cloak of shame and let ourselves become vulnerable, God has covered us with the robe of his righteousness and wants to wrap us around with his love, but we need to die to our old shame-filled self in order to appreciate this. A third thing which the beggar’s cloak represents is limitations. All Bartimaeus could do before he met Jesus was to sit by the roadside begging. This was his lot in life and he could hope for nothing more. But by casting off his beggar’s mantle He opened the door to a whole new world of possibilities. He could dream again; he could make plans to live a normal life. Being overweight imposes its own specific limitations upon us: travel and mobility becomes difficult; we can be unfairly prejudiced against both socially and in the work place and our health suffers. But the limitations imposed through our minds and emotions holding on to negative past experiences (those things which led to our weight issues in the first place) are even more restrictive and have to be removed before we have room to grow and mature. When we let go of our beggar’s cloak we are loosed from all the limitations which being a victim imposes on us, but not everyone wants this Sometimes, restrictive though it may be, it is far easier to remain in a place of weakness and need, even if it does have its limitations, than it is to be strong and independent. Jesus has heard your cry and is both willing and able to set you free. By faith cast off your beggar’s cloak, leave the past behind and embrace the new creation he has called you to be.
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